Our Journey Through Holland


 By: Brenda Barcroft

Several  have asked me to share the story about my daughter Lydia.   It's with mixed emotions that I do so, because honestly, sometimes I fail to see the beauty that can be found in Holland.  But because life isn't always roses, or tulips in this case, here goes. 

June 1984 I was finally expecting our first baby - we had been married for 3 years.   My maternal instincts kicked in and the corner of our guest room was converted into a fun and exciting baby "room".  Everything was in its place and waiting!  As I waited, I began hearing and learning about the blessings that can be found in  those with special needs - via TV shows, books, and even a challenge that was presented at  my best friends baby shower that I hosted.  The speaker told my friend that God was preparing the perfect baby for her and that God makes no mistake.  By the end of my pregnancy, I was convinced that I was to have a special needs baby.  I had prayed and asked God to give me the strength that I would need to be the right kind of mother.  

On March 10, 1985 I gave birth to a Beautiful baby girl!  She was finally here!  She weighed  7 lbs. 4 oz. and had a head full of beautiful black hair!  I counted her fingers and toes - yep, all there. Perhaps I was wrong.  

It was not until one year and 10 days later that my faith was tested. On  March 20,1986 our lives would be changed forever.  I worked at the day care where Lydia was cared for and had stopped in to check on her.  She was in a walker and her eyes were rolled back into her head.  I grabbed her up and started screaming.  She was unresponsive and burning up with a fever.  The Director rushed us to the Emergency Room where they grabbed her from me and whisked her away.  I didn't know whether I would ever see her alive again or not.  She was having a Febrile Seizure and convulsed for 2 hours in spite of the many attempts to get it to stop.  After what seemed to be an eternity, my husband and I were allowed to go back and see her.  She was on a table of ice to help with the fever, and had all kinds of  tubes and monitors attached to her.  She was then transported to a nearby Pediatric Hospital.  I will never forget the helpless panic I felt as I sat in the front seat of the ambulance (I was not allowed in the back)  hearing the EMT say, "Hurry and get there, we are going to lose her!"  

Well, we made it to the hospital and spent many long, sleepless nights waiting to hear results from every test imaginable.  We were finally released and told her fever must have been caused from a virus and that we wouldn't know if there was any permanent brain damage yet.  They just sent us home!   I was scared to death!  What if it happened again?!  What would I do?  Well, it did happen again.  Almost a year later, and again and again.  Lydia was put on anti-seizure medicines when she was released from the hospital the first time and we were told she may out grow it.  Well she didn't and her seizures are just as scarey now as the first time.  And she DID sustain brain damage from her first seizure.  She is 27 years old and  probably has the mentality of a 3 yr. old.  She cannot communicate verbally.  She says a few words and those who know her understand what she is saying.  She has gone through several types of seizures and has been screened for every possible cause imaginable.  She has tried almost every type of medicine, and combinations of medicines, available and continues to have seizures.  She may have a couple of good weeks and then have a really bad day with several seizures.  

Lydia is a very large young lady due to some of the side affects of some of her medications.  We have tried watching what she eats and even have locks on our cupboard doors, but she IS smart enough to somehow always find where the keys are hidden.  If we can't find them, we ask Lydia.  LOL

We have experienced the Government red-tape.  Either we made too much to get assistance or were put on a waiting list only to reach a realistic number and have the Government come and take more funds away.

Lydia has taught us many things - appreciation for the simple things of life, gratitude for every day of life, our helplessness and dependance on God, Patience (of which I am a s-l-o-w learner), unconditional love and that she has been given everything she needs to do the "job" that God created her for.  And most importantly, that God Makes No Mistakes.


Title is taken from 

Welcome to Holland 


Emily Perl Kingsley






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